There’s a question some people are afraid to ask out loud. A sweet guy who follows my Facebook Page has asked this question and I am going to address it now. I can only speak for myself and on behalf of all the trans-ladies out there (or T-Girls, TS Girls or Trans-Women—pick your preference, ladies ;-)) who have mentioned the same issue to me personally and therefore I can impart my wisdom and hopefully give you guys a little better understanding.
The question was from my new friend Chad (Hi Hunny ) and he wants to know how we T-Girls manage public restrooms when we are out and about. He Wrote; “Hi Amber this is Chad. I have a question; whenever you have to use the restroom which one do you use, the men’s, the women’s or do you use the family’s?”
First, let me say thank you to Chad for the question. My answer is this:
There are a few situations where I personally feel that we T-Girls can choose wisely which restroom we go into. Let’s break it down into a few different scenarios and see how it works.
Let’s say I am at a gay/trans/LGBT club. This situation is somewhat unique in comparison to the rest of the world and in this case I would feel completely comfortable using the ladies restroom. I am aware that I am in mixed company, but also that many of the women will be lesbians and not in the least bit threatened by my appearance in ‘their’ restroom.
However, if I am in a regular restaurant or club I will be cautious in case there are children around. Many parents have issues with privacy and gender equality and they might not take too kindly to seeing a T-Girl in a woman’s restroom. Personally I have never come against any prejudice but I know some of my T-Girl friends have encountered some resistance. It’s really a matter of how sensitive we are to other people’s reactions and vice-versa.
If I am in a public place, like a park or theater and I am dressed up to the nines and looking hot most women are not going to be able to tell the difference between me or any other woman. In those circumstances it is all systems go and I have no issue at all with using a ladies restroom.
If I am in a place where there is a family restroom I will sometimes use that just for convenience but if there is a ‘Men’ and ‘Women’ restroom with just a single cubicle I will choose the ‘Women’.
I can completely understand why many people would be curious about this choice and the issues we T-Girls come up against. However, most of the time we are dressed as women and people accept us at face value. They don’t think to question it and therefore it is not a problem.
Since I transitioned I have not actually used a men’s restroom at all and maybe that is because I look so ‘female’ that it doesn’t occur to anyone that I am anything else. I know of some T-Girls who have experienced different responses and therefore they have different stories. What I would say at this point is this; transgender or transsexual people don’t make the decision to transition lightly. They have to go through years of therapy before they can even be considered for gender reassignment surgery and it is a heavy burden to bear for those who are treated with a lack of respect. The trauma of being born into the wrong body is tough one to carry and we thank those who are understanding of us. We appreciate every kindness that gentlemen show us T-Girls and we love you for it. So, with that said, thanks again for reading this and I hope it gives you a further understanding of how it is to be a T-Girl.